I need help!

*this post is super long, but it’s also really important to me.  Thank you so much for taking time to read it. 

Life has never been the same since Africa.  Really, there’s no way it could be.  I asked God for a new heart and BOY did He deliver!  I cannot unsee what I’ve seen.  I cannot unbreak my heart.  I cannot forget His incredible provision and power that He has shown me.  I cannot deny how He commands His followers to care for the orphan, the widow, and the poor.  I cannot deny my Savior my life, when He has given His for me.  And I wouldn’t want to. Because my eyes were opened on this trip and because I love God with all I am, and desire to give my life for the things that matter to Him, I am going back to Uganda, (and so is Lindsay, but I’ll let her tell you about that)!  He has blown me away at the plans He recently revealed to me.  Much of the time I am at such a loss for words I just have to praise Him. 

Before I even left in June, I began talking with one of my team members on FaceBook, named Melissa. 

(Lindsay, Melissa, me)

When I told her about how I already loved Uganda, and hoped to have my own orphan home someday, she said, “Oh, you need to talk to my friend Lexi!”  Lexi had gone to Uganda for the first time a couple months earlier, and had also fallen completely in love, and was now planning to move there. 

(Lexi with her special kids at Canaan’s)

I read her blog, and it seemed like everything she said had been in my heart, I just had never known how to put it into words.  I went on my trip, and a couple of weeks went by, but in the back of my mind I kept thinking of how I really needed to contact Lexi.  Finally, one night I was up on my laptop in the dead of night, AS USUAL re-living the trip by stalking the pictures of all my team members, and I just had to write to her, so I did.  Originally, I just asked her for advice on how to set up a ministry, move to Uganda, etc., but she was so gracious and replied back and told me she would talk to me on the phone, then she asked me to kind of explain my situation, what I felt God was wanting me to do, what I was struggling with, etc.  When I got her response, she told me that she had dealt with almost all the same things that I was going through, and that she was so excited to talk as soon as possible!  Our first conversation was purely from God.  Our hearts are so similar, and I knew God had led me to her for a reason.  She offered me a position as a volunteer at her new ministry in Pallisa, Uganda from September through the end of December!  (I’ll actually be staying till January 6^th, but on the 27^th of December, Lindsay will come and meet me and we’ll go to Jinja.)   I was over the moon!  God created me with such a passion in my heart for Uganda, and He was the one that placed the longing in me to go back and share His love there some more, and He is the one that led me to this opportunity.  As Lexi and I talked, I just felt as if I were looking down a corridor lined with doors that God had swung wide open.  I prayed and fasted about this opportunity for a few days.  I felt this peace from God that this was from Him, so I committed to going and meeting Lexi in Uganda in late September!  Whenever I questioned if this was the right decision to make because of doubts from my family or others, God has been so good and faithful to give me little signs along the way.  I was house sitting, and my sister was watching tv in the morning, and I walked past the couch, and all of a sudden she kind of bumped one of the buttons on the switcher, and the tv turned from the show it was on, and the first word I heard was “Uganda”.  I’ll hear these songs on K-LOVE about orphans, and not sitting idly by, no matter what the cost. (Natalie Grant-“Your Great Name”: “the fatherless, they find their rest…all condemned feel no shame”,{I think of the joy in the children at the prisons}; Josh Wilson-“I Refuse”:  “I refuse to sit around and wait for someone else to do what God has called me to do myself…”)

Lexi just arrived with her one way ticket in Uganda yesterday!  Lexi’s ministry is called Muzungu Mama Ministries. She really focuses on partnering with and empowering Ugandans.  It will cost me $400 a month to live there, (so $1200 in all), and half of that is for my needs, and half of that is for a project of my choosing in the village!  Some things that are on my heart are buying medication, mosquito nets, or getting part of the Bible translated into their tribal language.  I don’t really know for sure, but I am confident that God will show me that exact need He wants the money used for.  Pallisa town is predominantly Muslim, so there’s lots of polygamy, and out of that practice many orphans are created.  Many times, a man cannot support all of his wives’ children, so he may run away and abandon them, or the other mothers will become jealous of a different mother’s children, and those children will be forced out of the home, and lots of other horrible situations like that.  So, while they may have living biological parents, they are truly still orphans because their parents do no care for them at all.  Pastor Samuel and his wife Mercy will be our neighbors. 

(Lexi’s house, where I’ll be staying,  in Pallisa)

Pastor Samuel is Pastor Isaac from Canaan Children’s Home’s son!  He runs the Christian church in the town, and also holds bible studies.  There will be a Christian children’s home called the To Africa With Love (TAWL), and we will be helping out there as much as possible.  Lexi is also having another volunteer stay at the same time as me, and this girl is a nurse and I will be able to get nursing training from her so I may better serve.   I don’t just want to go and talk at people about Jesus and how great His love is, I want to go and live an example so they may see and understand, and want to love Him, too.  I have been praying that God will use this trip to show me the specific area of Uganda, and specific need He wants my future ministry to be about.

When Lindsay comes on December 27, we will stay together in Jinja till January 7^th.  We will be visiting many of the ministries we fell in love with last time.

 Oh, how we have been aching to hold our dear ones in our arms again, and to have little ones sleeping on our chests! 

We have a dream to give every child at M4 a new outfit a couple of days after Christmas, so if you have any new or gently used children’s clothes, we will gladly take those off your hands! 

But I really need your help to get there.  I have to be honest and tell you that I’m straight up desperate.  It’s crunch time, (TWO WEEKS), and I honestly thought the fundraising I had done so far would have produced results… I thought wrong!  It’s so difficult for me to admit that.  I really hate soliciting money from others, but I had to realize that this is not about me, so I could just feel free to get over it.  It’s about Jesus and His people in Uganda.  It’s about faces like these:

It’s about love:

 It’s about planting seeds of God and His love so that we can all be together in Heaven forever someday.

I need to raise about $4000 just for my plane ticket, living expenses, and travel, but I would love to see God provide in some huge ways, because I can name about a trillion needs that I would like to provide for there, so really, the more I get, the more we can help.  I know money is tight, but these people matter.  They deserve the love that we have all been lucky enough to receive all our lives, they deserve to know Jesus Christ, these kids deserve people to hold them and pray over them and care about them.  I have to be shameless in my asking for help, because it’s not for me, it’s for them.  I am just a messenger, a go between.  I have seen, and I want to share and be their voice and to act.  Please, if you find this on your heart, your support would be a huge blessing.  If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to email me: allisonfalt@yahoo.com

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this.

If you would like to make a donation, you can…

Go to Lexi’s ministry’s website:

http://lightinguganda.com/

And click “Donate” along the top.  When filling out the form, just put my name in the section called “Note”. 

Or send a check or cash to my church at:

Avery Presbyterian Church

1910 Avery Road

Bellevue, NE 68005

(if it is a check, please write something about Allison-Mission trip  in the memo line.  If it is cash, please include a little note about Allison-Mission trip)

Love,

Allison

Sorry! It's been a while!

          Thank you so much to everyone who came to our presentation at Avery a few weeks ago, and to everyone who has prayed for us in our first journey to Africa.  God has shown us that was just the beginning!  Our prayer is that God would get the glory in EVERY SINGLE ASPECT of our journey.  We are NOTHING without Him.

"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5

          If you are even remotely thinking about doing missions, or doing something “radical” with God, DO IT!!!  Seriously, the journey will bring you soooo much closer with the God of THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE, and that is indescribably amazing!  And he commands it of those who call themselves followers of Christ, (Christians.)  Your life will be changed forever!  When you delve into a deeper understanding of His never ending mercy, grace, and love, you will truly find that there is NO ONE like our God! 

“The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing"  Zephaniah 3:17

Our God, who’s goodness, forgiveness, power, and love our human minds are physically unable to grasp, promises to be with us and love us forever!  What!!  Does anyone else have their mind completely blown by that!   If you need to experience that, please read Crazy Love by Francis Chan.  Reading God’s bold truths as voiced by Francis Chan made me feel more cherished and loved by God than ever.  I hope the same is true for you! 

This is one of my favorite verses lately.  I know how much joy and love has come into my heart through my growing relationship with Jesus, and I desperately want that FOR EVERY SINGLE PERSON!   These words are my prayer for you all, too:

“I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen” Ephesians 3:16-21

I think it’s no secret that Lindsay and I left our hearts behind in Uganda. 

  We are beyond humbled, blessed and excited that God made it that way!  We hope to have a post up soon about our plans, and how you can be a part of it, too!

“For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

That means YOU!   The God of EVERYTHING has huge plans for YOU in His story! 

We love you, and HE loves you more!

Love, Allison and Lindsay

Gathering.

On August 3rd, 

Allison and I will be sharing all about our time in Africa.

It will be held at Avery Presbyterian Church 

in Bellevue at 7:00.

Hope to see you there!

(If you live in the area.)

I will still be updating the blog, as I'm still behind, and will definitely be in December/January when I return to Uganda!

‎"He gives strength to the weary and power to the weak." 

Isaiah 40:29

Everywhere.

Sunset while on Nile River.

Where can I flee from your presence?  

If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, 

even there Your hand shall lead me.

-Psalm139:7,9

Reckless Abandon.

Adjustment back home has been hard….very hard.  I thought I was living two different lives when I was at school at Rhodes, but living in Uganda really is a completely different life.  Every single thing is different especially the flow of life.  All of you that have commented, messaged me, or given me words of wisdom, you have no idea how much that means to me. It’s difficult, very difficult, and it’s also very easy to just say I’m alright, but really, I’m not.  I left my heart there.  I’ve still been trying to process everything through my brain and haven’t even shared everything about my trip with my family yet.  I don’t like to cry in front of people, so usually it just builds up until I can’t hold it anymore.  

Last night was a breakthrough.  I finally slept through the night.  I would just wake up and not be able to sleep, but I was just exhausted.  My mind would just begin to wander, and it always ends on Esther.  She is never far from my mind.  I miss her so much.  I just ache to be with her no matter where that would be.  My little cousin was asking me what I would do to have her with me, and I can honestly say that I would do anything.  Unfortunately, she is not able to be adopted at the moment, but I’m praying that God opens the door to have my family adopt her.  

I’ve seen pictures of her since I’ve left and there just is something missing in her eyes.  When I first met her, she would seek out to sit on someone’s lap and would occasionally show her big smile, but she was just empty.  She would sit with her serious face and just take everything in.  The first week I was there, God bonded our hearts.  There is no other explanation than just that.  She was no longer the shy, sweet Esther, but she actually has a big personality and even has a little naughty side.   I do not know how adoption people do it when they travel once and then have to return home without their child.  WOW.  I feel their pain especially when you’ve met them and bonded with them.   

Falling while running back to me.
I love that tongue.
I got to skype with her the other day thanks to one of my really good friends, Hannah that I met volunteering at Amani.  Esther had skyped my Grandma before with me, but was a little unsure as to what to think.  She was her serious little self except for a brief moment.  When I started singing her one of the songs I taught her, she looked and just stared at the computer.  I am seriously already counting down the days until I get to see her and all the other children and people again.  Oh, and did I forget to mention that I’m going back for a short trip in December/January.  I’ve already informed my family that is the ONLY thing I want for Christmas.  5 months is a long time to be away, and don’t worry next summer’s trip is also in the works.  These people are a part of my life now, imbedded in my soul.  

Trying to run back to me.
Days like this whole last week are the days that I just wish Jesus would hurry and come quick because then I could be with my family, friends, and my Ugandan family forever.  I realize that more people need Jesus though.  Many of my friends need Jesus and many of your friends do too.  

Every single part of my life revolves around him, and sometimes I’m curious as to what other people put their hope in.  I have not found anything else that is as long lasting and satisfying as Jesus.   Even my friendships circled around him just have another dimension to them.  Today as I was soaking in the word, God knew exactly what I needed to read.  He brought me to Zephaniah chapter 3, and again I was brought to tears as to how faithful he is in knowing just what my heart needed.

On Judgment Day I’ll bring you back home- a great family gathering!

….You’ll see if with your own eyes- 

all those painful partings turned into reunions!

God’s Promise.

Zephaniah 3:18-20 [Message]

Oh, how I cannot wait for the day when I will no longer have to say, “See you later.”  I well get to hold my baby Esther, Liti, Jotham, Richard, and so many more children all in my arms for forever.   Until that day, I’m going to hold on to God’s promises because he is FAITHFUL and always there to hold me in his arms.  I want to live my live in reckless abandonment for my KING, SAVIOR, and HEALER.   

Woke her up to go to church.

I hope you’re enjoying all of the pictures of my little beauty.  I wish I had gotten more video of her, but to say she blossomed while I was there would be an understatement.  Esther arrived at the orphanage 2 months prior to me arriving.  She was very tiny, sick, and malnourished.   The mamas all say that she already looks like a completely different child, and I can believe it after Enoca’s redemption.  

LOVE that giggle snort.

My baby.
All of the mamas informed me that Esther thought I was her mother, and I couldn’t agree more.  On some days Esther would even spot me before I could find her.  She would come stumbling in trying to waddle as fast as her little legs could take her.  Since Esther was very congested, every time she would come heavy breathing, snorting, and a throat giggle would ensue.  She learned to walk while I was there, and she loved to play a game where she would walk a ways away from me, and then turn around laugh and giggle back to my legs.  If I would say, “Hey you,” she would turn around and get up immediately and come walking over to me.  Some days if she was even on someone else’s lap, she would get off and come over to me.  She never left my side either.  A lot of the other kids eventually would leave and go to someone else, but not Esther.  She would always just stay right at my side.  If I was sitting on the bench you could also find her in between my legs.  I love when she would lay her head back and just gaze up at me with her sparkly eyes. 

Looking for me.

If I was lying on the ground you could either find her in my lap or walking in circles around me while holding on to me.  She would always look at me, and then put her head into my stomach or legs.  She also liked to lie on my legs and hike her little booty up into the air.  Whenever I would put Esther down even if for a second, she would start to cry and puff her little lips out.  She would even try to grip onto me.  I loved it of course because I knew she loved me, even though I really NEVER wanted to put her down.   Her vocabulary also grew while I was there.  She began to call me Auntie which she always called only me it, but it was pronounced more like Ah-knee.  Her favorite word was Doggie, (Amani has 2) but she always said “Dah-doo.”  Another one of her favorites was “Shut the door,” and hers was Dah dah dah, but with the same inflection as shut the door was sung.  She also likes to say “How are youuuuuu” while she holds her hand out waiting for you to shake it.  

MISS THIS IMMENSELY.

Isn't she beautiful?

My favorite was when I would always sing her the Barney song.  Whenever I was around she always would say, “I love you,” at the perfect pitches.  It was absolutely adorable and melted me heart.  I taught her how to raise her arms up for me to pick her up.  I always would sit her on the ledge outside and I taught her how to lean out for me to pick her up.  I always would then toss her into the air, and she would giggle and snort.  God taught me right there what reckless abandon means through my Esther.  She had complete trust that I would catch her.  She would just fall over even if my arms weren’t out.  She knew that I would be there to pick her up.  She knew that I would catch and be there for her.  I’m so thankful that I worship a God who is just like that.  I want to fall so deeply in love with Christ that I don’t need anyone else and can just be enamored with him completely.    

I took Esther on many outings and also took her to church a couple of Sundays.  She loves boda rides too and always looks around.  She’s nosy just like me.  We are inseparable.  Multiple people while in Uganda would inform me that Esther and I looked alike.  I mean, she is my baby.  As bad as this is, I enjoyed when people would come over when Esther would walk off a ways from me and try to make her come to them.  She would always, without a doubt, come back to me and give me some lovin’ and just look at them.  Whenever I would hand her to other people, her face was priceless too.  I especially liked it if they tried to take her from me, and she cried. (I know that’s awful.)  Whenever any of the other children invaded her space with me, she would always hit them.  The joy we had together.  She was my baby, and just knowing that she is a fighter just makes me fall more in love with her too.   

Where she should be.

Oh, I loved her little head nods; her two little bottom teeth, and her smile.   She had certain tickle spots and would just giggle and giggle.  She also didn’t like her hands dirty like me and would always come to me to have me clean them.  I also taught her how to give kisses.  Boy, would she give me the biggest kisses especially at night time.  I loved drying her off from her bath, singing songs to all the 9 BC babies while they sat on their potties, and putting Esther and the rest of the crew into pajamas and into their cribs with mosquito nets.  

Love that booty.

Every time Esther would get off the potty, she would run over to me screeching and doing her deep throat laughter and would lay herself on top of me even if I was in the middle of getting someone else ready for bed.  She would just come and lay in my lap.  Night time was definitely my favorite over there.   She was just so lovable.  She also loved to cuddle in the mornings.  She always would just give me all sorts of slobbery wet kisses.  When I would put her to sleep in the mornings, she ALWAYS would cling to me and cry when I tried to put her down for her nap.  When she would fall down, she would always look up at me to say something or to help her up.  If I was not holding her, she would always be wrapped around my legs.  

Martha and Esther. 

She also loved to help me do laundry.  When she would see me over there taking the clothes off, she would get off her mat and come over to me.  She would help me pull things off the line or if I handed her something she would put it into the basket.  When the laundry would get full, I would carry her over and put her down.  Her face would instantly go serious, and I'd go into the house and put the dry laundry in a pile.  Every time I would come back out, she would just be waiting for me in the same spot I left her just watching the door.  It was adorable.   

One of my other favorite things that she does is stick her little tongue out.  I miss that little thing too.    She also has the most beautiful eyes and eyelashes like Liticia.   I just feel awful that I up and walked out of her life.  It breaks my heart that she has no idea what happened to me.  I just disappeared.  I cannot wait to have her in my arms again.  I just hope that we will pick right back up where we left off.  These next 5 months are just going to be brutal. I need her, and she needs me.   

She has good swag in music headphones.

You can choose who you want to love, but when they end up loving you back that's out of your control.  

I'm enamored by this little girl. It's so obvious that she loves me back, and that I love her SO much.

Oh, I miss kisisng this sweet face goodnight.

This song came on KLOVE, and these lyrics were just perfect for me. 

You lift me up when I am weak
Your arms wrap around meYour love catches me so I'm letting go

*Lift Me Up, The Afters

Playing peek-a-boo in the kitchen.

The last week I was at Amani, I was holding her while we were outside, and I was just singing to her.  All of a sudden I was singing, “You’ll be in my heart.”  I quickly realized the words I was singing and tears began to fall while I sang to my sweet baby girl. 

Talking to me.

Come stop your crying. It will be all right.
Just take my hand, hold it tight.

I will protect you from all around you.
I will be here don't you cry. 

For one so small, you seem so strong.
My arms will hold you, keep you safe and warm.
This bond between us can't be broken.
I will be here don't you cry.

'Cause you'll be in my heart.
Yes, you'll be in my heart.
From this day on, now and forever more. 

You'll be in my heart no matter what they say.

You’ll be here in my heart always.

Rocking her romper.

Oh my baby girl, I miss you so much.  My arms, heart, and soul ache for you.  God has a better plan than I could ever imagine with my life and yours.  

Esther devoured chocolate cake.

In my shoes.

I’m just hoping that his plans involve Esther with my family.  If not or until then, I’m just going to be praying because that does mighty things.  I love watching people storm heaven’s gates with prayers. It’s amazing everything that prayer conquers.  As hard as it is away from her, I know that she has a heavenly father that is ALWAYS next to her and is always watching over her.   He continually reminds me to LET GO and LET HIM do the work and open the doors and prepare the path he has planned for me.  I’m excited to be on this road in complete abandonment to his plans and ready to say YES even though it will be challenging.  With God at my side, anything is possible.   

Laughing of course.  

This is how I feel to without you in my arms, just pitiful.
(I had to set her down for a picture for a group.
She wasn't happy and arching her back and kicking her legs occured as well)
My boy Moses was trying to calm her down.

My HAM.
I loved the way she looked at me.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

On my lap, smiling in the morning.
We both just love to smile.

Where she belongs.

Getting ready to eat at the table.

He will swallow up death forever. 

The Sovereign LORD will wipe away the tears from all faces; 

Isaiah 25:8 

LOVE THIS FACE AND DOUBLE CHIN.
(Especially when she laughs)

Oh her happy self at bed time when I would get inside her mosquito net.

Please just keep my Esther in your prayers. 

 I also would appreciate continued prayers for my emotional self.

Esther, you'll be in my heart always.