Discernment

Internet has not been working, and it is too slow to upload more pictures besides for one. 

Day 2:

Dear Lord,

I can already hear your gentle reminders that you knew had gotten away from me.  How can you be patient with someone over and over again?  Nevertheless, thank you for your grace.  Today my arms were always full, something you know I’ve missed for too long.  My arms were made for and need children.   I woke up 13 hours after going to bed, clearly I was more exhausted than I wanted to admit.  It seems that only in Uganda where my heart is so thirsty for the Lord is where crying babies, preschoolers singing, dogs howling, and chickens squawking all account for your beautiful creations to wake up too.  In America, I would never be at such peace to wake up to these sounds, but here my heart is changed depending solely on you.     

I can see your divine handiwork behind each person you placed here at Amani this summer.  There is a wonderful coordinator here named Helene.  Wow, is she one of your faithful servants.  She spoke so much wisdom into my life this evening during our volunteer bible study.  Thank you so much for our wonderful bible study and worship session.  How wonderful is your name.

Lord, I love your little man Judah.  What a beautiful tiny creation of yours.   He loves to be held, but of course he knew to cry for the right person because I was going to hold him even if that meant for over an hour when I needed to go to town.  Sometimes, it’s good to remember to just pause and savor the moment.  Things really are not that necessary to get done. I would not tried all those smiles and coos for anything.  All the other things that needed to get done can just wait for another day.   Thanks for your faithfulness and your ability to teach in every circumstance.

PS. Bedtime is my absolutely favorite and tonight with that little Grace.  Be still my heart.

Love your Princess,

Lindsay

During my time at Amani this time, I get to be with the girls.  There are 3 sets of twin girls and about 15 others older than 6 months.  Tomorrow, I’m temporarily taking over for someone and helping teach the 2 year old preschool class, which I’ve been told is an adventure.   Anything with Eric or Grace involved is always an adventure, so I’m sure they are telling the truth.

My Lesson from God of the Day:

Solomon prays for a discerning heart.  He doesn’t pray for a situation or things, but rather God gives him the ability to discern between right and wrong, good and evil.  God always has fun teaching me different things, so tonight when I was praying for different situations, he showed me this passage in 1 Kings.   The Lord is giving me an answer to my questions, but it is not by a blatant sign or a letter with instructions on it.  Instead, it is with the ability for me to use my judgment and wisdom that he has blessed me with.  Discernment is something that I usually choose to ignore when it is not the answer I want to hear.  But once again, Jesus reminds me to not follow the path my worldly flesh desires, but the path less followed for greater fulfillment.  Once again, being pruned is so hard, but it’s the slow steps along HIS path that make me fall in love again with my King. 

So for now, just enjoy this cute little thing.    

Mercy.  Yo chick she so thirsty.  

 Give me Jesus. Give me Jesus. Take this world from me, but give me Jesus.

All of Me.

We finally have some internet. No pictures yet, but those should come soon.  This was written my first night back.

7/4/12

Dear God:

Today was a long and exhausting day, but I arrived safely with all 4 of my bags back to your beautiful country of Uganda that has stolen my heart and was greeted by your wonderful servant, Pastor Rich.  You knew exactly what you were doing all my life when you planted the seed of Africa and children into my heart.  As soon as we landed, my heart was a flutter.  Tears just rolled, and I tried to soak up every intricate detail of this land that an ocean separated me from for 6 months too long.  Satan clearly had his handiwork all in this too as he puts doubts in my head about returning.  He makes me think that I can just stay at home doing whatever pleases me, but I’m reminded by the King of Kings:

 

You say it won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.
You say you can give it to me and you will take my burden.
You say this isn’t about you, it’s about me and I want you to be a part of my beautiful story.
You don’t need this because all you need is me.
You say I have a plan for you far greater than you ever could imagine or dream, and I don’t need your help or schemes, just willingness.
And he whispers, “Princess, I love you, and I want your WHOLE heart and all I want you to do is give me all your dreams, wishes, opportunities, and people, and be obedient when I call you.  It’s not going to be easy, but you have me and I will overflow your cup and guide you along.  And that my princess is enough."

I’m amazed at the support that you provided even when you knew I wouldn’t have time to work for the money.  Money ballooned out of nowhere and extrapolated.  I’m so humbled by your grace you extol even when I’m not patience, stubborn, and forget it’s not about you and less of me.  

Thank you for my blessed sister Susan.  I absolutely love her so much, and I'm grateful to be back living with her.   I thank you for this opportunity to be surrounded by your beautiful children and mamas who live very special lives.  Thank you so much for your grace and ability to lead even when there is darkness.  Thank you for the celebration of the 4^th of July in community with strangers now united by you and Uganda, and thank you for allowing my best friend to be on this journey with me.  Thank you for the time to pour out our hearts together on the plan.  You knew exactly what you were doing when you placed each other in our lives.   Thanks for bringing me back to my first true love, you.

Love forever,
 Lindsay Alexandra

It's Time.

As I'm sitting in the hotel room, I just can't believe what blessings the Lord has lavished upon me.  Not only has he broken my heart for the fatherless, but has abundantly provided for me to travel to Uganda for the third time this year.  Wow.  The body of Christ has been so generous, and I cannot wait to see little princesses in their pillowcase dresses.  Of course, my Amani little men will love all their pajamas too, and everything else that is in our 7, 50 pound bags. :]

Tomorrow, Allison and I fly Ethiopian Airlines, and our favorite Kenyan Pastor is picking us up from the airport.   Allison is headed back to Pallisa, and I'm headed back to Amani Baby Cottage.  We will meet back up our last week in August and spend it together.  My heart is fluttering with excitement to have my arms full of my babies and to see how much they have grown.

Red dirt.
Burning trash.
God's creation.
Savoring quiet moments with the Lord.
Full of the spirit.
Fuzzibunz. 
Chapati. 
Dancing.
Singing.
Hugs.
Kisses.
Laughter.
Joyous unfailing LOVE.  
Holy is the Lord, our King of Judah.        

We were made for this.  SO blessed to have this page in God's story.

I have asked the Lord for one thing – this is what I desire!

I want to live in the Lord’s house all the days of my life,

so I can gaze at the splendor of the Lord and contemplate in his temple.

Psalm 27:4

Love, 
Lindsay and Allison

PS.  Sorry for the lack of blogging.  Training for track nationals and taking a summer class took up a lot of time, but I'm back and will also try and play catch up on our amazing trip in December/January! We will update as much as we have power and internet.  Thanks for the prayers that we will completely abandon our lives to Christ and hearts be focused and adorned with praise for the only one who is worthy of our lives.

Today is the Day!!

I leave today.  My heart is so happy and excited to be reunited with the rest of my heart!  God is SO faithful.  Allison and I have SO much to catch up, and I absolutely cannot wait to see my best friend in the ENTIRE world!  

It's BEEN WAY TOO LONG. 

 Can't wait to reunite with her in the country that has stolen BOTH of our hearts!

Can't wait to love these little ones!!

A Poem that speaks TRUTH.

The Children

Do you hear the children crying?

I can hear them every day,

Crying, sighing, dying, flying

Somewhere safe where they can play.

Somewhere safe from all the dangers,

Somewhere safe from crack and AIDS,

Safe from lust and lurking strangers,

Safe from war and bombing raids.

Somewhere safe from malnutrition,

Safe from daddy’s damning voice,

Safe from mommy’s cool ambition,

Safe from deadly goddess, Choice.

* * * *

Do you see the children meeting?

I can see them in the sky,

Meeting, eating, meeting, greeting

Jesus with the answer why.

Why the milk no longer nourished,

Why the water made them sick,

Why the crops no longer flourished,

Why the belly got so thick.

Why they never knew the reason

Friends had vanished out of sight,

Why some suffered for a season, 

Others never saw the light.

* * * *

Do you hear the children singing?

I can hear them high above,

Singing, springing, ringing, bringing

Glory to the God of love.

Glory for the gift of living,

Glory for the end of pain,

Glory for the gift of giving,

Glory for eternal gain.

Glory from the ones forsaken,

Glory from the lost and lone,

Glory when the infants waken,

Orphans on the Father’s throne

* * * *

Do you see the children coming?

I can see them on the clouds,

Coming, strumming, drumming, humming

Songs with heaven’s happy crowds.

Songs with lots of happy clapping,

Songs that set the heart on fire,

Songs that make your foot start tapping,

Songs that make a merry choir.

Songs so loud the mountains tremble,

Songs so pure the canyons ring,

When the children all assemble

Millions, millions, round the King.

* * * *

Do you see the children waiting?

I can see them all aglow

Waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting,

Who of us will rise and go?

Will we turn and fly to meet them

Will we venture something new? 

Come and go with 

me, would you?

I intend to rise and great them.

Come and go with me, will you?

And my sweet little baby girl.  I pray that God allows me to see her, but if not trusting in his promises.  To be so close, but oh so far away is just so hard on my heart.  I know that I have a God of the EXTRA ordinary and LOVES to show me his mighty power and love for his children.  Saying many prayers that it's for my girl and that's she's not sicker than she was before. 

She loved me back.  

PS.  God already has been at work because I didn't get charged extra for my extra weight fee!  God is GOOD!  

Thanks for all the prayers.

Soaking in his goodness while I fly for a LONG time!

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!  

1 John 3:1

Elizabeth

     Another blogger recently used the term “Holy Ground” to describe a life altering experience they’d had.   That’s exactly how I would describe my first trip to Uganda.  Canaan Children’s Home was one of the main places our team stayed in June, and that’s where we got to have lots of time to really bond with some kids.  God used that trip, those children, those places, to TRULY break my heart, and allow me a glimpse into what His eyes are seeing, and what His heart is feeling.  

     Last week, I got the incredible blessing to return to Canaan for a short visit!  Coming back to Canaan was a sacred experience, a revisit to my Holy Ground.  I prayed that the kids would feel loved and cherished to see someone returning, instead of just coming once, and vanishing forever.  Now, some of you know that during my stay here in June, a little 11 year old girl named Elizabeth claimed me as soon as I stepped off the bus.  

     She was the one who was waiting outside my door in the morning, and outside the dinner hall every time we’d go in to eat.  The one who walked me to my door each night, who’s hand never left mine, and who’s smile lights up my heart.  She’s very shy, and hardly talks, but our hearts were bonded, and she knew I cherished her.  

     Ever since meeting her in June, I have prayed for her, and thought about her, and hoped there were people in her life who cared for her, and wanted to hold her hand, and put their arm around her, and just sit wordlessly with her cuddled into their side, instead of just going for the typical cute little babbling 3 or 4 year old.  My heart broke as I searched the pictures of VO teams after mine, and found not a single picture of my girl.  I was worried.  Who was loving her?  

     Fast forward to last Thursday, and we are making the drive from Pallisa to Jinja to stay at Canaan for a night.  To say I was out of my mind with excitement does not even begin to cover it.  There were a million things running through my head… worries about “my” kids, and the kids of the people I love from my VO trip:  Are they happy?, Do they know how loved they are?, What if they don’t remember me, because teams are always coming and going, and what if they don’t believe I really loved them?, I just wanted them to think, “Oh, she truly loves me just like she said she did, and she came back for me.”   All those worries soon faded away…

     So we pulled up, and got out of the car, and the little ones who were already home from school began to come over to us, their high pitched voices in a chorus of, “How ah you?” and, “Good ev-uh-ning”, with their teeny little hands and arms reaching up to me.  

     Then, the older kids began to trickle in the gate, coming home from school.  The first child came up and greeted and hugged me, and wouldn’t let go.  I knew he was Gideon.  I asked, “You’re so and so’s boy aren’t you?”, (It was a husband and wife couple, and the husband had been on my VO trip, and he and his wife sponsor two kids here.), and Gideon smiled HUGE and said yes.  I told him how much they loved him, and told him we’d take pictures for me to show them.  Soon, beautiful Claire, the other child they sponsor, came in the gate, and beamed at me, and we hugged, and I told her the same.  She was overjoyed.  Then, some of the older girls I had hung out with, and sang and danced to Rhianna and Sean Kingston songs with, came in, and we hugged and talked for a while.  

     Every time another child with a “parent” from my VO trip came in, I made sure to tell them how much they loved and treasured them, and gave them plenty of hugs and kisses.   This happened over and over, and one of the girls that had been part of my “posse” in June came and hugged me huge, and ran to gather some of the other girls.   I was engulfed in this beautiful, joyful little group of kids around me, then I turned and saw her, coming in the gate.  My Elizabeth.  It was like something from a dream.  This child that had only been in my mind and heart, and on my computer screen for the last five months, was right there, almost near enough to touch.  We locked eyes, and that smile of hers melted my soul as we moved toward each other like magnets.  

     All of a sudden, I was holding her in my arms, telling her how much I love and missed her, and how I had been praying for her the whole time I was gone.  Did she remember me?  Uh, YEAH, and she remembered that I LOVED her.  Was she, along with every other child there happy? YES, Canaan is an incredible, Godly children’s home.  The kids are being fed spiritually, and it’s really powerful to see how that is evident in their lives.  Did they feel loved?  Oh, every moment.  It is CLEAR that God literally holds them in the palm of His hand.  He truly treasures these children of His, and I do, too.

      It was such a sweet, unexpected blessing to be able to spend some time at Canaan.  God knows just what our hearts desire, and He is faithful to give us exactly what we need. 

Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

He is so so good to me.  THANK YOU LORD for letting me see my Elizabeth, and bringing me back to Uganda!

Praise the LORD, for the LORD is good; celebrate his lovely name with music! Psalm 135:3

LOVE you all, but He loves you more!

Allison <3

Orphan Sunday/ MAN UP

Today is Orphan Sunday.  A solemn day to recognize the suffering of the Fatherless all around the world, but also a day of hope that in Christ, we all have the power to be Jesus to them, and that we're actually all called and commanded to do just that.  I LOVE the children's home in Pallisa!  (It's called Kerith, by the way.)  It is SUCH and incredible blessing and privilege to be able to have a part in shaping the faith of even one precious little one, "the least of these" in the sight of the world, but precious royalty in the sight of Jesus.  It will be so heartbreaking to leave them in December, but I am confident in the Lord that I will be able to continue being a part of their lives, as I feel this peace within me that God is still leading me to make my life forever in Uganda.

"And I am confident in the Lord that I myself will come soon." Philippians 2:24

You know, I revel in each sweet second I get to be "Mommy Allison" to these kids, and no matter how much my inner "independent woman" says we can, all these single women missionaries I learn about all over the world participating in orphan care can't fill every need for these kids, (though I fully recognize God can fill every need, and I'm definitely not saying there are no orphan-passionate males out there, only that there are very few), so I can't help but notice something missing... There's a hole in the puzzle of Christians caring for orphans...  It's father figures.  Guys who give kids an earthly example of what fatherly love is, so they can have a less screwed up view about what God's love, as our true and perfect Father, really is.  Guys who can really identify with the boy orphans, and play sports with them, and make them feel so incredibly special, and to make the girls feel protected and like the little princesses that they truly are...

Where are the men?  Yeah, I notice a bunch of males walking around out there, but where are all the GODLY MEN?  Where are the guys who are trying to model fatherhood off of our Heavenly Father?  Have you noticed the increasing amount of "fathers" who abandon their families all over the world?  Who mistreat their wives or their children?  Do you truly realize that this is so NOT how it's supposed to be?  We can fight this with prayer!  God did not create men to be cowardly, lazy, selfish, and prideful.  Now, I know not ALL men are like this, but in my life, I can probably count the truly Godly men I know without using up all 10 fingers, if I think really hard.  This is not a lamentation of what is wrong, for there's nothing God can't redeem, but the Body of Christ needs to put in some serious time on our knees praying for God to raise up His men to all the He created them to be, and praying that we would all have the grace and faith to obey His specific calls on our lives - whether male or female. 

 1 Timothy 5:8 says:

"But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, especially those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." 

Providing means sooooo much more than money.  There are plenty of ways to provide for you family that don't cost a cent.  What about providing unconditional, ceaseless love?  Encouragement?  Spiritual leadership?  Quality time?  To the men: PLEASE MAN UP and be all that God created you for, because you are NEEDED out here in this world, to be the hands and feet of Jesus.

(ps-I'm not delusional enough to think that throngs of men are perusing a blog entitled "Princesses of Christ", so if those of us who are seeing this would just spend some extra time on our knees praying for our men to rise up and love the Fatherless, and encouraging them to grow in their faith, and discover all that God has planned for their lives, I promise you, because Jesus promised, that our prayers will be heard,) 

"Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours." Mark 11:24

 Stay strong, and go boldly before the throne of God!  We're all in this together as brothers and sisters in Christ!

Love you all so much, because He's teaching me how, 

Allison